A Lonely Woman
by ExLibris3
Summary: Jen is thinking about her feelings for Gibbs, believing she is the only one who feels. Will she forever remain alone, or are they really meant to be? Jibbs. Oneshot.


The room: big, empty and quiet. The woman: powerful, strong and alone. She knew well how to hide her emotions; behind the strong surface was her fragile side to be found. She was good at her game, where she pretended she was something she wasn't sure she was meant to be, something she wasn't sure her heart truly desired. She was the Director of NCIS. She had gotten into this office after years of hard work, but she wasn't sure this was what she wanted.

Then what did she want? She was the head of a federal agency, she had beauty, and she had wealth. Then what did she miss?

Someone by her side. She was alone, she longed for a man, she longed for kisses, she longed for someone to hold her close, someone who'd whisper 'I love you' in her ear. But it wasn't just any man she longed for, it was the one she knew she could never have. She smiled at the thought of his eyes, blue like sapphire, his smile so soft and lovely, and his body, strong and beautiful. This she knew she could never have again, and that truth broke every wall she'd built around her emotions, causing a single tear to run down her cheek, followed by another. She had never cried over him before, never had her walls crashed before, never had she felt this hurt and vulnerable.

Why couldn't she have him? Why couldn't she even bring herself to fantasize about him? Why didn't she dare? Because she was afraid she'd take fantasy to reality? Or because she would feel too miserable thinking about him? But why couldn't she have him? She didn't know, didn't know if he wanted her. She didn't want to embarrass herself, by speaking her feeling to him if she didn't have proof that he felt the same.

It was late, but she was still sitting at her desk, though she wasn't working anymore. But where else could she be? She could go home, but what was the point in sitting in her lonely home on a Friday night, when she could just sit here, there wasn't any difference. She took a sip from her glass of Bourbon, and thought about him. The glass was put back onto the desk, and she rose from her chair and stood for a moment looking out through the window. The moon was full, its light shining in thought the high windows, the only source of light in the room. She was restless. For a second she considered going to his place, just to have some company. They were good friends, but she knew she wanted more from him. She shook that thought out of her mind; she couldn't go to him, not without admitting she had feelings for him. He could never find out. A sad thought, but nevertheless true.

She knew no one would be here at this hour, yet she escaped from her office, walked past the empty desk where her secretary usually sat. She walked to the railing and looked out over the dark squad room. But she soon realized it wasn't completely dark down there. A single light shone at a desk, a desk she had hoped would be empty. But there he was, the one she had been thinking about all night. She felt her heart beat a little faster, her hands tightening their grip on the railing, her eyelids closing, trying to get away from the feelings her heart told her was right. It wasn't possible to ignore them though, even from over here she found him to be extremely attractive. She looked away from him, looked at the door leading back to her office, considering going back inside, maybe go home for the night. She lingered at the railing, trying to make up her mind, not wanting to go back into the loneliness, but not wanting to go down to him. She didn't know what to do, until she got the feeling that someone was looking at her. And since there was no one else in the building but her and him, she knew what would meet her gaze when she turned her head and looked down at him. She was right.

He was staring right at her; he gave her a little nod as to say 'Hello'. She waved back, took a deep breath and before she knew it she was on her way down the stairs. Now it was too late to turn back, she had to go down to him, talk to him. She usually had no problem with that, but her walls had crashed, and she didn't know what she might do, what her feeling might lure her into doing or saying, but it was a risk she had to take.

"Thought I was the only one here" he told her as she reached his desk.

"I thought I was" she replied, avoiding looking at his eyes and lips, in fact, she didn't even look at him at all, her gaze was wandering over his desk, the wall behind and the empty, black plasma screen.

"Are you ok?" he asked, sounding a bit worried.

"Yeah I'm fine" she answered, still not looking at him.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

'_Because I'm afraid I'll make a mistake if I do' _she thought, but she didn't know what she should say out loud. She took so long to figure out an answer, that he had risen and walked around his desk to her with concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he tried again, now touching her shoulder. She shivered, but she still didn't look at him.

He felt her shivering at his touch, and he frowned. Could it be possible? Could the reason why she had shivered and avoiding looking at him have something to do with the fact that they were alone together? Could she really have feelings for him? He decided to take chance.

With both his hands he turned her towards him; with one hand he lifted her head and pressed his lips against hers. At first he just felt her soft lips against his own, and then she slowly opened her mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to enter her mouth. Her hands slid around his waist, his had already found their way to her back, holding her tightly against his body.

She pulled away, finally meeting his gaze.

"Is this how you feel?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Yes, I'm in love with you" she confessed, it was this moment she had longed for all evening, to tell him the truth. She just couldn't believe she had told, and she certainly couldn't believe he had kissed her.

"And I'm in love with you" he replied, a smile playing on his lips as she reached up and kissed him again. The kiss lasted longer then the first one, and it was both deeper and more passionate. She had kept these feeling inside herself for so long, too long. And now when she let it all out, she couldn't seem to stop herself. All she wanted was him, she wanted his body pressed against hers, and she wanted more of his kisses.

He pulled away; or rather he forced himself to stop kissing her.

"We should go somewhere else if we're gonna do this" he said, and she nodded.

"We can go to my place" she suggested and he thought that sounded like a good idea.

"I just need to get my coat in my office" she continued

"I'll walk you" he offered and together they walked up the stairs, through one door and then through a second one until they were standing in her office.

Silence, the only light was still coming from the moon outside the window. The only two people in the building stood opposite each other in the middle of the room.

"I don't want to go home" she said after a long silence.

"Okay, let's don't" he answered and their eyes met before he wrapped his arms around her and brought her back close to him, kissing her passionately once again.


End file.
